Ted

Ted (2012)

Predicted Rating: 3 Stars

Directed by: Seth MacFarlane (Big Screen Debut) Starring: Mark Whalberg (Boogie Nights, The Departed), Mila Kunis (Black Swan, That '70s Show), Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy, American Dad)

Ted starts off at Christmas time in Boston when a young John, aged eight, struggles to be socially involved, receives a teddy bear for his Christmas present. He makes a wish for his bear to come alive and be his best friend. Much to his parents shock, the bear takes on a life of it's own  and Ted is born. A montage evolves (cue Team America montage song) showing Ted becoming a minor celebrity on his way to stardom. Cut to the modern day where Ted is a 30 something washed-up former celebrity being compared to Corey Feldman, Macauley Caulken and Justin Beiber as a washed up celebrity. John (Whalberg) is reaching his fourth anniversary with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis) and to become more mature must choose between her and Ted (MacFarlane).

Ah Seth MacFarlane you have done it again. This movie is basically a live action Family Guy. Highly Inappropriate, does not make much sense a lot of the time and gets stuck into anyone who might have appeared on TV, from Susan Boyle to Johnny Carson. MacFarlane would have to be the funniest nerd going around, with his typical Star Wars references (however I was disappointed that there were almost more Belinda Carlisle reference (2) than Star Wars references(3)), to having a brilliant sub-plot based around Flash Gordon (accompanied by the Queen soundtrack). I did also really enjoy some of the more obscure reference that a lot of people didn't get like quoting the end of Pink Floyd's another brick in the wall. The laughs were non-stop during the movie. Some movies tend to use up all their good lines at the start and get into the boring plot where Ted just kept them rolling. When there seemed to be a serious moment a highly inappropriate joke would be thrown in there i.e. when a lady of the night defecates on the living room floor (blog friendly version of the story) a talking lobster head is thrown into the the frame.

Beyond all the jokes, the plot is pretty stock-standard. Middle-aged guy has to shake his childhood side to become more mature in order to satisfy his girlfriend. To me this is ultimately annoying, why can't the girl just take a chill pill and let him hang out with his best bud. Well is suppose that is the reason (or should I say one of the reasons), I don't have a girlfriend. I would love to have a movie one day which has no plot and is just a huge collection of pointless jokes but in the end that would make no money. The plot is thrown in there to attract the female viewers as it is a very male orientated movie. On this rant I really did not like the Mila Kunis character. She was super annoying and basically made Whalberg choose between his awesome best friend and her. The point was made that if she wasn't ridiculously attractive we wouldn't be in this situation. Again we are in the Vow (see Snow White and the Huntsman Review) situation if someone else was cast.

Other than Mila Kunis, the rest of the characters were original and quite funny. MacFarlane and Whalberg hold their own as the main characters but they really tend to hog the screen time and there is not enough time dedicated to the minor characters. Joel McHale is a fantastic comedian and his talents are truly utilised. Patrick Stewart is awesome as the narrator, adding a bit of spice to the start and end of the movie. Then there is Patrick Warburton. After his appearance as David Puddy on Seinfeld (Gotta support the team, that's right), he has become one of my favourite comedians but his talents are never taken advantage of in any films he is in. The sub-plot of him questioning his sexuality is a good laugh, to go along with the awesome Ryan Reynolds cameo, but it has all of two minutes screen time.

Other than my ranting this is a fantastic film filled with laughs. The fight scene is absolutely awesome but it really needs a giant chicken to cap it off.  The thunder song, even though it was flogged to death in the previews, is one of the best songs I have seen for a long time. Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this movie and I recommend anyone who feels like sitting down for a cheap laugh and to be horrifically offended to go and watch this movie.

Overall: Highly Inappropriate but Awesomely Funny, 4 Stars

Next Week: NaNaNaNaNaNaNaNa Batman!