Directed by: Anthony C. Ferrante. Starring: Cassie Scerbo, Ian Ziering and Tara Reid
Do I need to explain the plot? Sharks get caught in a tornado and start killing people
Well that could have been the greatest entertainment experience of all time. I mean it was so unbelievably ridiculous. First things first, where the hell did all those sharks come from? There are thousands of them just hanging around. I assume the scene at the start with the shark fin soup was supposed to explain it but still, there were thousands of them! Also they all of a sudden became ridiculously aggressive. Did I just witness a 2 m shark swallow a 1.8 m man whole? Yes yes I did. Oh and the biological inaccuracies don't stop there. Once again someone is swallowed whole and manages to move through about 70% of the shark's digestive tract in a matter of seconds, start a chainsaw, makes a surgeon like incision and escapes unharmed. Finally what makes generic shark number 5 more dangerous than generic shark number 7? EVERYTHING! You can tell that there are a few great whites and a couple of hammerheads but other than that all of the other sharks don't resemble a specific species. They appear to be the result of the special effects guy receiving the instructions "make me a computer generated shark."
What else can be wrong this movie you might be saying? Well I am just getting started. The technical difficulties are so abundant you can't keep up. There are more plot holes than a movie about Swiss cheese. The shark fin soup story went nowhere, there was no animosity shown by Tara Reid after the attractive girl hits on her ex-husband in front of her, and then the attractive girl all of a sudden loses all feelings for the main guy and gets amongst it with his son. Wait a minute, since when is Tara Reid old enough to be a mother of someone in their early 20's, man I feel old. Then there is the over zealous use of stock footage. I understand the use of establishing shots to show we are in LA but next time make sure you have the time of day and weather conditions. There are numerous occasions when 5pm during a hurricane turns into a warm sunny morning, c'mon this isn't Plan 9 from Out of Space. Then there are the almost humorous shark cut scenes. Cutting from a shark swimming in waist deep water though the street to a clearly different type of shark cruising though the open ocean is magical.
Tara, Tara, Tara, what has happened? You have appeared in American Pie and The Big Lebowski, two of the best movies from the late 90's, so I expect you to outshine the other actors with your pure talent. Oh how wrong was I. Somehow you manage to drag the acting quality down. I know your character gave you nothing to work with but at least put a little effort in. You sort of just mope around wondering what went wrong with your career. On that, none of the characters had any sort of defining quality, except one. What shark movie is complete without the wise cracking Aussie guy who doesn't care and is just there to fuck shit up. His defining moment comes immediately after someone is devoured by the sharks, of course turning the water red. Everyone else is visually upset so to lighten the mood (unsuccessfully I might add), he says, whilst off camera, "it must be that time of the month." I will leave it at that...
Overall Rating: This is not one movie I can use my normal star rating to rate. It has done what movies such as Troll 2 and Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus have done but so many others have failed, be so bad that it is good. Almost every movie made is better than this one but very few are as entertaining. My recommendation is to do exactly what I did, grab a few friends, crack a couple of beverages and sit back and enjoy 90 minutes of pure hilarity.
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