Predicted Rating: Pile of Steaming Shit
Directed by: Jose Padilha. Starring: Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Joel Kinnaman, Samuel L. Jackson, Abbie Cornish.
A reboot of the 1987 classic sees policeman Alex Murphy (Kinnaman), who is living in a futuristic Detroit, tracking down a drug lord. After his cover is blown (yep that's right, it's a pun), he is mortally wounded. Meanwhile, OmniCorp chief Scientist, Dr Dennet Norton (Oldman), is working on a secret project that converts a person into a super-soldier. He chooses Murphy as the prototype and RoboCop is born.
BAH! TABLE FLIP! WHY DO REBOOTS ALWAYS HAVE TO RETELL THE ORIGIN STORY! I know how Robocop was made so don't spend three quarters of the goddamn movie telling me how Murphy became Robocop. If you don't know and start complaining about how you have no idea who he is, just read the damn Wikipedia page! I would love this movie if he became Robocop before the opening credits and just spent the rest of the movie just fucking shit up, killing bad guys and throwing other robots through windows. I don't care if there are no motives, just give Robocop a gun and see what happens. To justify the retelling of the origin, they slightly change it by giving him a concerned family. I don't even care they did this, just make it more realistic. Murphy goes back to visit his son but his son seems unemotional and unamused. Back when I was 10 and if this happened I would be fuck yeah my dad is fucking Robocop, this is the greatest day of my life.
My gripes don't end there. Where the hell is the damn blood. The two best scenes in the original are when he shoots the rapist in the dick and the ED-209 malfunctions causing a large amount of blood to be sprayed around the room, USING REAL BLOOD SQUIBS! In order to drop the rating down in the US down from R to PG-13, they remove all the violence. This is so they can make some more money from the lucrative (really?!) teenage market. No, no, and no! Just make it super violent and make kids sneak in the old fashion way. Or do what the original did and make all its money by marketing toys to children. Then there are other things like changing Lewis to a black man from a white woman. How am I supposed to ridicule Lewis' incompetence now! Finally the chemistry between Kinnaman and Cornish is downright awful. When it comes to the not-so-sex scene they have a look on their faces like oh damn we have to have sex... again.
Despite all my complaints this is not a bad action film. It is beautifully shot, the plot is solid and the characters are fantastic. IT JUST SHOULDN'T BE CALLED ROBOCOP!
Final Rating: Just dreaming of the original. 3 Stars
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGemfKLV1JA
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