Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Predicted Rating: 2.5 Stars

Directed by: Timur Bekmambetov. Starring: Benjamin Walker, Dominic Cooper (Captain America), Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Scott Pilgrim).

Vampire Hunter is based on a graphic novel written by Seth Grahame-Smith that is set in an alternative universe (or maybe not) where Abraham Lincoln (Walker) juggles being president with hunting vampires. The movie starts with Lincoln as a child when he witnesses his mother killed by a vampire. It then moves through his life outlining is progression as a vampire hunter, meeting his wife Mary and leading victory in the civil war.

The build up to this movie was fairly subdued. There was very little advertising on television for it, only those who really paid attention to up-coming movies new much about what was planned for this movie, and I really wasn't all too excited for it. This was really reflected in the cinema when there was only about 15 people in the cinema on opening night. It was no The Devil Inside (when it was just me and some old woman in the theatre) but it was a change from The Dark Knight Rises, which had about 400 people in the same cinema at a similar time a couple of weeks ago. This really meant that the peculiar story coupled with the lack of promotion meant this movie had the billings for a modern day cult classic, joining to company of such films as Anchorman and Scott Pilgrim. However this film lacks that something that makes a movie a cult classic. Even though it was fairly cool, the plot line and visuals had something very standard about them and there was nothing really special about it.

The special effects of this movie are pretty awesome. It aims to have the same effect as 300 and Sin City, and even though it falls short of the visual spectacle of the aforementioned movies, it is probably on par with Suckerpunch of last year. I loved Suckerpunch so this is actually a big compliment. The train scene at the end is nothing short of spectacular and the decision to make the vampires have the ability to disappear was genius and really added to the spectacle of the film. If there is one thing that makes this movie awesome it is the special effects. I know I said a few weeks ago that special effects really aren't special anymore but the ones in this film are something else.

Even though the effects were awesome, I do have a few gripes about the characters. The addition of Lincoln's mentor is a weird one. Even though I can see his place in the film, his presence is almost annoying. I will compare him to herpes, he sort of just shows up every now and then, most of the time at the most inconvenient times. Other than that I really couldn't stop chuckling at Jimmi Simpson playing a serious role. He was actually quite good but for those who don't know I am a huge fan of It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia. In this show he plays Liam McPoyle, a member of an inbred hillbilly family who are a constant torment to the gang. I really just expected him to start drinking milk in his bath robe and then the entire family rock up in their trailer. From the wise mind of Charlie "Look at you, your dancing with the entire McPoyle family, what a bunch of freaks, but it's ok, because your green man!"

I really expected this movie to be more patriotic. Lincoln is a huge figure in American History so I expected him to be draped in an American flag playing America, Fuck Yeah. However this was not the case, which actually slightly disappointed me. Maybe it was because of an international director or trying to stay away from this (he is from Kazakhstan, which is awesome!) or the American's have had this drilled into their brains so many times they would be sick of it. The rise of power for Lincoln, the freedom of the slaves and the battles of the civil war were all included but their build up lacked the gusto you'd expect from the Americans. There is even a joke made at the end about Lincoln's assassination, something the I'd never thought that would happen. However this means that there will be no sequel, hooray, something very rare for a movie these days. Unless they decide to make George W Bush: Paranormal Investigator or Sarah Palin: Witch Hunter (obviously played by Tina Fey).

This movie is really made by it spectacular special effects. The storyline etc. are very stock standard despite the peculiar premise, hence this movie I believe will really just fade out of existence and will not grace too many people's DVD collection. However, I still recommend going and watching this movie if you do have a night at the movies planned. It is a fairly entertaining movie, it just lacks that special something. Oh and whilst I remember I will complain how much I hate 3-D. I haven't seen a 3-D movie for a while so I forgot how much I hate having to wear those stupid hipster glasses. I really did feel like throwing them away half way through. I am probably joined by many but I hope this fad fades out fast, curse you Avatar!

Overall: 2.5 stars. Better than Van Helsing but not as good as Blade. Entertaining but could have been more unique.

Next Week: There is a bit of a lull for movies for the next couple of weeks. The Campaign is out next week but all I see that is a star vehicle for Will Ferrel and Zach Galafiankas so I am not excited. The Bourne Legacy is also out in two weeks but again, this really doesn't get the juices flowing. I could see Step Up 4: Miami Heat but I'd rather knock myself off, resuscitate myself and kill myself again. "Inspirational" dancing movies would have to be the worst genre of movies ever. I may have to wait a few weeks till Total Recall comes out. Yay Jessica Biel and Kate Beckensdale! 

Even though this really has no relevance to this review I wanted to add this in. I saw 4 new trailers for upcoming movies today, 2 that made me quite excited and 2 that made me cringe. The first one I saw was for Paranormal Activity 4. Not too many people I know like these movies, but I absolutely love them so naturally the first trailer got me quite excited. The second one was for The Hobbit. It is a given that this movie will be good so this was a pleasing trailer. Now to the two bad trailers. The first was for the new Resident Evil movie. Really, do we need a fifth one? I think the relevance of this movie was summed up by the stereotypical flying text, Mila Jocovich... in 3-D! The final one was for something that could possibly the worst idea of all time. It is for an Australian movie named Bait. It starts off as what appears to be a serious drama when a couple goes to a shopping centre near a beach (this is key) when the girl is shot by an armed robber, when suddenly BAM! a tsunami hits. Somehow people in this shopping centre survive with the water level conveniently just below the level of the shelves (key again). So then you expect it to be a survival movie from the tsunami, but no, another twist, dun dun dun!!!! A Great White Shark makes it into the shop and slowly eats the people trapped inside. What annoys me is that it is only 12 feet long, that is tiny! We keep them at that size as pets instead of gold fish in Perth, much more kid friendly. Also whilst all this is happening, Lincoln Lewis is just chilling out in his 100% waterproof car on the floor with his missus. All this reminded me of was of Manos, Hands of Fate (literally the second worst movie of all time), where one of the actresses broke her leg so they placed her in a car on the side of the road making out with someone the whole movie with no contribution to the plot. It also features many people that are on Home and Away so we can make it interesting by pretending it is actually them dieing. Seriously go see this trailer, it is awful.