Predicted Rating: 1.5 stars
Directed by: Len Wiseman (Underworld, Live Free or Die Hard). Starring: Colin Farrell (Phone Booth, Fright Night), Kate Beckinsale (Underworld, Pearl Harbour), Jessica Biel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Blade: Trinity)
Total Recall is a remake of the 1990 movie of the same name based on the Phillip K. Dick short story We Can Remember it for You Wholesale. In this version Douglas Quaid (Farrell) is a lowly factory worker happily married to Lori (Beckinsale). They live in a post apocalyptic society that contains two factions United Federation of Britain and the Colony (formerly Australia) where workers living in the Colony travel to the UFB on a daily basis on a inner core gravity powered elevator. Quaid decides one evening to visit Rekall, a clinic that implants memories into your mind, giving the perception you have actually lived out those event. Things go wrong when it is revealed that Quaid is in fact a government spy and the life he thought he had lived in entirely fictional.
Oh look something refreshing, a remake, wait hasn't a remake of a classic film been done before. As a result of this, I really was gearing myself up to be thoroughly disappointed. However, this turned out to be quite a decent movie. This version is not really a scene to scene remake in such but borrows the idea and puts a different spin on it. I am tempted to read the original short story and see which is more like the book. There are a few throw backs to the 1990 version in the remake such as the three breasted woman and fat woman going through security but apart from the whole recall thing (spelt differently too) there are few similarities such as no trip to Mars in the 2012 version. It was also refreshing to see a movie containing two provinces didn't chose the eastern seaboard of America and... oh the western seaboard. If there was an Apocalypse, I would put my money on the yanks being the first ones to go.I was actually really excited at the prospect of some Aussies.
As well as the good bits, like any movie there were a few little plot holes that annoyed me. You could tell that this movie came about as a result of half an idea. The writers would have wanted to make a sci-fi containing two post-apocalyptic societies, one rich and one poor, starring Colin Farrell. This wouldn't stand alone so they had to do the old remake thing (bringing on the obviously ironically named Original Films). There were a couple of other things that ticked me off. One is how can you have a movie based in Australia and have NO AUSTRALIANS in it!? There wasn't even a hint of an Aussie accent, not even an American trying to do one. It was more like south east Asia. I was also thinking beforehand, wouldn't it be cool to have an action movie that contains no dubstep (thanks Inception). Alas, no less than 12 minutes in WUBWUBWUBWUB! and I let out a huge sigh (coming from the man who turned Nero up to 11 on the way home. Fortunately this was it's only appearance. Finally, I am not sure here but I think there one huge scientific anomaly. I may need a physicist to help me with this but I am sure "The Fall" wouldn't work as shown in the film. This is the elevator that goes from one side of the planet to the other through the core. In the film it shows that gravity is constant for the entire trip until the core is reached when over a 2-3 second period the gravity disappeared and then reversed. Using Newtonian physics I think the gravity would decrease slowly to the core, reverse and then increase slowly. I shouldn't hark on pedantics though, there were some cool tricks using the vomit comet.
One thing that kept me entertained during the movie was the Kate Beckinsale vs. Jessica Biel battle and who would I choose. Don't get me wrong Biel is an absolute fox but the whole movie she was crying and it go so annoying by the end. I was hoping that Arnie would bust in an yell STOP WHINING! So my vote goes to Beckinsale because she is a bonified bad-ass, I mean man can she kick some butt. Whether it is in this or rocking the leather in Underworld I am a huge fan. She is also absolutely smoking for a 39 year old. Hopefully she sees this and I will get a phone call sometime in the not too distant future.
Overall this was a very enjoyable and entertaining movie that kept me interested the whole time. There were a few things I enjoyed like some of the maybe not so subtle symbolism i.e. like Rekall being exactly like a brothel and the Yanks having a dig at us for being a bunch of criminals. I really think this would be one of my favourites of the year if it wasn't a remake and an original idea. Unfortunately it is not and I still prefer the original.
Overall Verdict: I was tempted to give one star for each breast but it is slightly better than that so 3.5 Stars
Next week: Time to take some roids, compare muscle mass, and flip some tables: Expendables 2
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